27 Oct Let in Authenticity with kindness
How are you? Stop for a minute and think about that question…
How many times throughout the day we are being asked or we ask that question?
Does it happens to you that often times you don’t find a way to respond honestly and just reply:” Fine, thank you”
As I become more mindful of what is going on inside myself and more committed to be congruent in my life, I struggle more with the answer. I noticed that the majority of us behave under the illusion that we have to always look fine (regardless of actually feeling it) or that we have to hide our authentic experiences because what others would think, or simply we bypass our own state, needs and wants in order to perform at a rhythm we are “supposed” to move.
After practicing mindfulness and self-compassion consistently for the last few years, working as psychotherapist, and also interacting with more and more people who have chosen to live in a congruent manner, I am noticing more clearly how important is to be conscious, authentic, congruent and kind to myself.
You definitely don’t have to enter into a deep explanation about what or how you are feeling but you can honor the truth about the way you feel and respond accordingly. For instance, if someone invite you to do something you really dislike, instead of pushing yourself to do it and put the happy mask to please that person or avoid disagreements, just say what is truthful for you. Say what you prefer. And say it with respect and kindness.
I am committed to practice the following steps to a more authentic, content, and drama-free life:
1. Be mindful of what is going inside you:
Focus your attention to what happens inside you moment to moment (without judgments). Especially notice what your body senses, what is telling you, what part of your body is activated. Be your own witness.
2. Cultivate kind awareness:
Explore what is the message the sensations you feel in your body are trying to tell you, be curious.
Avoid feeding the voice of the self-critic.
How to do that? Start by recognizing its presence and being open to identify the purpose of the “self-critic” in your life.
Allow a friendly treatment towards the parts of you that you dislike (the same kind or treatment you would give to your best friend)
3. Remember your human nature
Let go of the idea that you have to be perfect or happy at all times. Human beings have this amazing capacity of feeling a variety of emotions. Just be curious about the emotions you dislike and enjoy the ones you like.
4. Communicate from a place of love, understanding, and respect:
When you express your needs, wants, and thoughts from a place of internal awareness and love, the interaction with others and the delivery of what you want to communicates, happens easily.
5. Keep in mind that it’s fine if other people disagree with you:
“Let’s agree to disagree” Sometimes your choices or communications might not be well received by others. It is their right to be in disagreement and it is yours to stay faithful to yourself. And it is just fine. We can respect each other’s perspective. Our need of agreement, frequently, comes from our need of control… Think about it.
I invite you to let go of blaming external factors (people, work, life in general) and turn the focus inward. Be willing to cultivate your inner connection, moment to moment, without continuous judgment and with full honesty. As you align your words and actions with what is true for you in your heart, you will start feeling relieved of unnecessary loads (what other people think of you, what is expected from you, etc) and continue living a more authentic life one day at a time.